Dark Phoenix, United States (he/they)

“Be brave.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

By age 3 or 4 I realized that I wanted to wear boys’ clothes and play boys’ games. Dolls frightened me. Girls bored me. I rationalized that it made more sense to sit (and rest) while peeing, and so decided that I didn’t, exactly, want to be a boy.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I remained non-conforming in my approach to clothing and activities. I had great dysphoria when my breasts began to develop. Upon being at a women’s college, I came out into the community as a lesbian. About 5 years ago, I stopped shaving my facial hair. Grew a fine mustache, goatee and sideburns. A little over a week ago, I had a double mastectomy.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

Couldn’t be happier, post mastectomy. Looking forward to hysterectomy and starting T.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

Be brave. Go for it. Listen for that quiet inner voice.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

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Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.