“It might be scary, but living your truth is always better than hiding everything and living a lie.“
Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?
Starting from when I was 11-ish, I used to religiously watch movies and books in which the protagonist swaps genders or bodies (where one of the people they body swapped with was of another gender). I would often envision myself in that scenario and I thought that if that happened to me and I turned into a boy one day, I would be fine with it and possibly happier because I hated my body so much.
I think around age 13ish and 14ish, I found out the existence of trans people and slowly uncovered that what I felt was gender dysphoria, and that I am trans in some way.
How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?
I came out as genderfluid around age 14ish and started going with he/she/they pronouns. It wasn’t until age 15 that I really understood how icked out I was by my deadname and being referred to a girl. After I had the revelation of being transmasc, I cut my hair short and came out to a LGBTQ club in my high school. They connected me with a trans-centric resource center that gave me free gender-affirming care such as free binders, which I am eternally grateful to have received. I also bought more masc and baggier clothes as I moved out of my parents house.
Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?
100%. I have a community that supports me with open arms and I’m a lot happier with my self-image than I ever was before I realized I was trans and started transitioning. I wouldn’t be here without any of those things.
What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?
I think I would tell him that there is nothing wrong wanting to be a boy, because he is one, and that socially transitioning has helped my mental health tenfold. I wouldn’t do anything differently though, as the mistakes that I have made in my transitioning process are partly what made me the man I am, and I am not myself without my uniqueness and eccentricities.
Is there anything else you'd like to share?
No matter your reason for transitioning, you are valid and always will be valid. It might be scary, but living your truth is always better than hiding everything and living a lie. No matter how young or old you transition, or when you are able to transition, There is still time.
Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?
Yes.