Scotty, United States (he/him)

“You are worthy of love.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I never had a specific day where I can concretely say I realized I was trans, but there were a lot of signs. I would insist to my parents I was a boy as young as 4 years old, I only ever wanted to be on the boy's teams and do what they were doing. When I was 15 I was exposed to the idea of being a different gender online (still not know that it was called being trans) and decided to "try out" being nonbinary...which eventually ended up being binary male. The realization was more of a slow gradient than a single "oh snap" moment.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

It was small things that I changed over a year or so. I got boxers and started looking for clothes in the men's (boy's—I was too small for anything in the men's) section. I cut my hair, first to a pixie cut and then something more traditionally masculine. I started going by a nickname of my birth name and then changed it entirely. I used makeshift binders until I could afford a real one. It wasn't until I was 18 that I could start hormones, and I didn't get top surgery until I was 26.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

I feel like me in a way I didn't know I needed as a kid. I spent a lot of time uncomfortable with my body and being a "woman" in society and as I gradually transitioned, I felt more at ease with how I was seen, both by others but also myself. Of course being trans has its uncomfortable sides too, but I would choose that over trying to convince myself I was cis.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I'd tell my younger self to stop trying to get his parents to understand and support him. That the arguments will only hurt him worse. It's not going to work and there are going to be so many wonderful people if his life that deserve his time and energy much more. He's doing all the right things with the power he has at the moment so just keep it up; the things you want will come and they will be life changing.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

For those worried about relationships, both platonic and romantic, as a trans person, there are so many people out there who will see you as a person first and foremost, and being trans will just be another adjective like having brown hair or freckles or acne or being plus sized. You are worthy of love.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.