Anon Guy, United States (he/him)

“It does get better, but you have to seize life by the throat and make it better.”

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I realized around 11/12. I feel like I just knew. A little before I realized it, I had tried very hard to be hyperfeminine to compensate. When it hit me, I was still at a people-pleasing stage of my life-- and tried to ID as genderfluid for other people to be more comfortable, even though I am a (mostly) binary trans man and definitely not feminine.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

I mean, I started socially transitioning soon after I realized. But it was not enough, and I realized I was NOT genderfluid and do not like using pronouns other than he/him or presenting as other than a boy or man. I started DIY HRT a few years later in secrecy, and about a year after that I managed to convince the main person holding my chains to let me be prescribed it by a doctor. It was obvious by that point that my body had been changing, and my presentation with it. I had become a boy in secret-- behind closed doors-- and I felt ready to keep growing into a man.

Editor’s Note: We want to acknowledge the courage it takes to share personal stories like this. However, we do not promote or encourage DIY hormone replacement therapy (HRT). For safety and wellbeing, we strongly advise seeking medical guidance when pursuing HRT.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

After I fully accepted who and what I am and went on T, yeah. It's not perfect. Like many trans guys I find myself wishing I was cis. But as time continues on with me living stealth as a man like any other it becomes easier to accept what I have now and be patient for the other things I need in my future.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

Honestly, I'd tell my younger self that it does get better, but you have to seize life by the throat and make it better. I'm not sure I'd even talk much about transition, there were more important things going on as a kid. If I could do anything differently, it would have been to meet more trans kids like me and also to not have trusted the system and trusted only myself when it came to my struggles.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Guys like me will exist all around the world even when they try their damnedest to erase us. No matter how they try to exterminate us we will go on. The world is a better place for every single trans man in it. There is no Earth without a trans man standing on it.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.