Jay, United States (he/him)

“I have been learning to find such peace and comfort in my body in ways I didn't think possible.“

Was there a definitive moment you realized you were trans? How old were you?

I realized I was trans when I was twelve years old. Something inside me was nagging on my mind, a feeling of incongruity I couldn't quite put my finger on. I heard the word transgender, and it clicked.

How soon after did you start to make changes? What were these changes?

It took me a year or two to slowly tell people and start coming out at school. First, clothes and hair and name and pronouns. It was an uphill battle with my family and eventually the medical system, I got on testosterone a month before I turned seventeen. I got top surgery two years later.

Have these changes started to make you feel more comfortable in your life and body?

I have been learning to find such peace and comfort in my body in ways I didn't think possible.

What would you tell your younger self? Would you do anything differently?

I would tell my younger self that this is not a sacrifice, it's not a loss. This is not something needing to be hidden away or to be scared of, it's something lovely and beautiful. It's okay to hide, but it's also okay to reclaim our past, each in their own time. I wouldn't change a single thing.

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

Over the past few years I have carried out in depth archival research on trans men in the 1960s and 1970s. It has been an absolute honor to go into the archive and find myself, to retrieve these men who have fallen through the cracks of history but fought so hard to be themselves. Researching trans history has made dealing with transness today (in the face of so much scrutiny, policing, and governmental targeting in the US) more bearable and reassuring that we will prevail and survive these storms.

Have the gender-affirming steps you’ve taken impacted your overall happiness and sense of well-being?

Yes.